The Woods Are Full of Cuckoos (Not Kid-ding Around, or The Singing Kid Is Not All White)

 

Director: Frank Tashlin

Summary: Forest animals (a lot of which are caricatures of singers, actors, and radio personalities of the time) participate in the Woodland Community Swing Variety Show on radio station KUKU.

The Channel(s): Cartoon Network

Part(s) Edited: During the performance of the title song, there’s a sequence where we pan across a row of animal-based caricatures of celebrities that were popular at the time of the cartoon’s release in theaters. When Cartoon Network aired this in the 1990s, they shortened the pan to remove the appearance of the blackfaced Al Jolson caricature named “Al Goatson: The Singing Kid” (“kid” as in “baby goat,” not “human child,” though, from what I’ve seen and experienced personally, one tends to act like the other).

What Grinds My Gears About the Edit: Like the previous entry, this doesn’t “grind my gears,” but it does make me question some things. Namely, “Why would Cartoon Network just cut the Al Jolson goat when you also had Fats Swallow, the bird/toad(?) caricature of Fats Waller, who was black and often caricatured on such Warner Bros. shorts as ‘Clean Pastures’ and ‘Tin Pan Alley Cats’? Wouldn’t it make more sense to just cut the entire pan across the celebrity animals, as cutting in the middle of a panning shot is jarring and will make even first-time viewers realize that something’s gone?”

On top of that, I had the good fortune not to see this edited. It was uncut on an early 2000s showing of The Acme Hour (a cartoon block that aired for one hour on weekdays and two hours on weekends that mixed Warner Bros cartoons with Fleischer Popeye shorts and both MGM cartoons [Tom and Jerry and the shorts directed by Tex Avery when he was fired from Termite Terrace] and had bumpers that showed POV shots of what it’s like to be on the business end of classic cartoon slapstick, such as getting hit in the face with a wooden plank, having a piano and an anvil fall on your head, skating on rocket-powered rollerskates, etc), but, sadly, only once. After that, the short was phased out and replaced with other cartoons. The Looney Tunes Fandom Wiki is where I heard that it was edited. While I do want to take that website’s word for it, I can’t really believe them 100% unless I have evidence like, say, a video clip of the cut scene, complete with Cartoon Network’s station identification bug. 

Since we don’t have one, I’ll just do an approximation edit.

Video Comparison: Hot, fresh, and rife with commentary from me. Not much, but it’s a start:

Availability Uncut: This one isn’t as widely available as it should be (should it be, though?). It was on the Golden Age of Looney Tunes laser disc (volume 4, side five) and its most recent appearance is on the Looney Tunes Golden Collection, volume three (disc two, which features Warner Bros cartoons with celebrity caricatures and pop culture references of the day. Anyone who tells you The Simpsons and Family Guy are the only cartoons that are stuffed with pop culture references and celebrity caricatures hasn’t seen a Looney Tunes cartoon beyond what they remember, either vividly or vaguely, from childhood. It’s lousy with it, and Internet forums, wikis, and comments sections will be happy to guide you on what you missed…assuming you can put up with petty arguments and misinformation).

‘Til next time…

Porky's Railroad (Re-Drawn Together)

Director: Frank Tashlin

Summary: Porky’s clunky, yet reliable train engine, Toots the 15th Century Unlimited (a 2-2-2 engine --two leading wheels, two driving wheels, and two trailing wheels -- popularly called a “Jenny Lind”)  squares off against Dirty Digg’s streamlined train, Silver Fish (no word on what kind of wheel alignment it’s supposed to have) in this battle between old tech vs. new tech.

The Channel(s): Unnamed syndication, Nickelodeon, and MeTV

Part(s) Edited: A very quick sight gag. During the race between Toots and the Silver Fish, a brief scene showing the Silver Fish racing by a woodpile that flies up revealing a black man (one that kind of looks humanoid, the way Bosko did) in tattered clothes was cut. Surprisingly, neither Cartoon Network nor Boomerang cut that part, and I actually found proof of it (see the “Video Comparison” section below).

The redrawn-colorized version also cut a short scene where Dirty Digg’s Silver Fish turns a tunnel inside out, and the end where Porky is crowned the new engineer of the Silver Fish, but those cuts were because redrawn-colorized versions had a hard time replicating the frenetic and fast-paced animation of these black-and-white shorts (mostly Bob Clampett’s work, but Frank Tashlin did a lot of what Clampett would be known for) and would often drop scenes because they weren’t usable (if you think that’s bad, wait ‘til we get to “The Daffy Doc” and “Wholly Smoke”).

What Grinds My Gears About the Edit: This probably doesn’t grind my gears as much as it should. The “black man in the woodpile” edit goes by so fast that you don’t even notice. However, the Looney Tunes Fandom wiki says that it was cut because it’s a visual pun on a racially offensive saying. We have enough racist sentiment in this world; we don’t need any more unless it’s backed by historical context or someone challenging and condemning it, so I don’t know or want to know what that saying is.

As for the two other cuts…those were cut due to shoddy workmanship, not censorship. I’m not running a “Shoddy Workmanship” blog, though I do like pointing out how redrawn-colorized cartoons look like complete and utter crap, since I remember seeing those a lot on Nickelodeon (and occasionally, Cartoon Network).

Video Comparison: In a return to the style of the pilot blog post about Bosko, The Talk-Ink Kid, I’m going to show the full, uncut black and white version versus the redrawn-colorized edited version:

Uncut (black and white version):

Uncut (computer-colorized version as seen on Cartoon Network):

Edited (redrawn-colorized, as seen on Nickelodeon, MeTV, and unnamed syndication):

Availability Uncut: It is available on the Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 4 DVD (on the second disc centered on Frank Tashlin cartoons), the Porky Pig 101 DVD set, and the Porky Pig volume of a UK-based DVD set called “The Looney Tunes Big Faces Box Set” (a.k.a “The Kids WB Bumper Box of Toons”). It’s not on streaming as of yet, but it doesn’t matter, as this cartoon has been in the public domain since 1965, so you can watch it wherever fine public domain films (live-action and animated) are uploaded.

For more information on trains and how they’re depicted in the media, visit https://obscuretrainmovies.wordpress.com

‘Til next time…

Porky's Romance (Dog-Gone Love)

 

Director: Frank Tashlin (credited as “Frank Tash”)

Summary: In this, the debut of Porky Pig’s shallow love interest, Petunia Pig (who isn’t as nice and bland as later incarnations), and the final cartoon with Joe Dougherty as the voice of Porky (who was let go because Dougherty’s actual stutter was slowing down voice recording. It’s the opposite of what we have now, where producers will cast an actual stutterer because one who can fake a stutter is considered “ableist.” What a world!), Porky comes over to try and win Petunia’s hand in marriage, but it becomes clear that she only wants him because he bought chocolates and flowers. When Porky attempts suicide over being rejected and used, the hanging goes pear-shape and Porky sees what life would be like if he did marry Petunia.

The Channel(s): The WB

Part(s) Edited: Surprisingly, Porky’s botched suicide wasn’t cut, nor was Porky and Petunia going straight to the Honeymoon Hotel, kissing, and turning off the lights (the shorthand way of showing sex on a wedding night in Hays Code-censored movies. They probably still do it today, but only as a joke or if something is meant to be PG instead of PG-13 [which sadly seems to be as far as most creatives are willing to go. I want my R, NC-17, and unrated entertainment that’s not confined to HBO and premium cable. And maybe G-rated stuff, since that's not as common as it used to be]), Petunia feeding chocolates to her dog (which is extremely dangerous to do), or Petunia beating Porky with a rolling pin (classic female-on-male domestic abuse schtick. It’s a total double standard that “You Beat Your Wife” gets censored on The WB, but not that part).

Nah, fam. What got cut was the very end, where, after Petunia wakes Porky up from his suicide attempt and agrees to marry him after turning him down, Porky (thinking back to the nightmare where his blushing bride becomes a slovenly, unashamed housewife who feeds chocolate to her dog and nags Porky about the housework and childcare) decides, “Screw that!” and bolts, but not before coming back to retrieve the box of chocolate and give Petunia’s dog a well-deserved kick in the ass. The WB didn’t appreciate Porky kicking the dog, so it was cut.

What Grinds My Gears About the Edit: Nothing, except for the whole double standard about how “Wideo Wabbit”’s “You Beat Your Wife” part was censored, yet Petunia whaling on Porky with a rolling pin was uncut. That’s more a Tumblr argument and I was only into Tumblr to find like-minded people who want to be better fiction writers and thought Cartoon Network’s Time Squad (from 2001) was rife with homosexual innuendo and jokes more suited for Adult Swim rather than daytime Cartoon Network (which it is. Rob Paulsen’s podcast episodes with Mark Hamill and Pamela Segall-Adlon say so and co-creator Carlos Ramos [who has his own Tumblr filled with weird art and answers to fan questions] agrees).

How It Plays Edited/Video Comparison: 

The ending is abrupt, but not annoyingly so. Ending it with Porky running away after retrieving his chocolates (or even with Porky running off and leaving Petunia and the chocolates behind) is more believable story-wise, as it shows that Petunia only liked Porky because he had chocolates for her and the dream showed what would happen if Porky did marry Petunia and she continued her chocolate eating. Either taking the chocolates away from her or leaving her with them is a final “Screw you!” to her and everything she stands for when it comes to shy men (or anthropomorphic pigs) trying to pour their hearts out to high-maintenance women (or high-maintenance, anthropomorphic sows in this case, since a sow is a female pig, but that word can be used like “bitch” or “cow” to be a derogatory term for a woman, whether deserved or not) who just aren’t feeling it.

Availability Uncut: Your choice: The Looney Tunes Golden Collection, volume 3 DVD set (on the third disc with optional commentary by Mark Kausler) or the Porky Pig 101 DVD (disc 2). It, sadly, isn’t available for streaming or digital download (so, no HBO Max, no Warner MediaRIDE, no Amazon Prime Video, no iTunes, No Boomerang streaming, and definitely no Tubi) as of this writing.

‘Til next time…