Porky's Romance (Dog-Gone Love)

 

Director: Frank Tashlin (credited as “Frank Tash”)

Summary: In this, the debut of Porky Pig’s shallow love interest, Petunia Pig (who isn’t as nice and bland as later incarnations), and the final cartoon with Joe Dougherty as the voice of Porky (who was let go because Dougherty’s actual stutter was slowing down voice recording. It’s the opposite of what we have now, where producers will cast an actual stutterer because one who can fake a stutter is considered “ableist.” What a world!), Porky comes over to try and win Petunia’s hand in marriage, but it becomes clear that she only wants him because he bought chocolates and flowers. When Porky attempts suicide over being rejected and used, the hanging goes pear-shape and Porky sees what life would be like if he did marry Petunia.

The Channel(s): The WB

Part(s) Edited: Surprisingly, Porky’s botched suicide wasn’t cut, nor was Porky and Petunia going straight to the Honeymoon Hotel, kissing, and turning off the lights (the shorthand way of showing sex on a wedding night in Hays Code-censored movies. They probably still do it today, but only as a joke or if something is meant to be PG instead of PG-13 [which sadly seems to be as far as most creatives are willing to go. I want my R, NC-17, and unrated entertainment that’s not confined to HBO and premium cable. And maybe G-rated stuff, since that's not as common as it used to be]), Petunia feeding chocolates to her dog (which is extremely dangerous to do), or Petunia beating Porky with a rolling pin (classic female-on-male domestic abuse schtick. It’s a total double standard that “You Beat Your Wife” gets censored on The WB, but not that part).

Nah, fam. What got cut was the very end, where, after Petunia wakes Porky up from his suicide attempt and agrees to marry him after turning him down, Porky (thinking back to the nightmare where his blushing bride becomes a slovenly, unashamed housewife who feeds chocolate to her dog and nags Porky about the housework and childcare) decides, “Screw that!” and bolts, but not before coming back to retrieve the box of chocolate and give Petunia’s dog a well-deserved kick in the ass. The WB didn’t appreciate Porky kicking the dog, so it was cut.

What Grinds My Gears About the Edit: Nothing, except for the whole double standard about how “Wideo Wabbit”’s “You Beat Your Wife” part was censored, yet Petunia whaling on Porky with a rolling pin was uncut. That’s more a Tumblr argument and I was only into Tumblr to find like-minded people who want to be better fiction writers and thought Cartoon Network’s Time Squad (from 2001) was rife with homosexual innuendo and jokes more suited for Adult Swim rather than daytime Cartoon Network (which it is. Rob Paulsen’s podcast episodes with Mark Hamill and Pamela Segall-Adlon say so and co-creator Carlos Ramos [who has his own Tumblr filled with weird art and answers to fan questions] agrees).

How It Plays Edited/Video Comparison: 

The ending is abrupt, but not annoyingly so. Ending it with Porky running away after retrieving his chocolates (or even with Porky running off and leaving Petunia and the chocolates behind) is more believable story-wise, as it shows that Petunia only liked Porky because he had chocolates for her and the dream showed what would happen if Porky did marry Petunia and she continued her chocolate eating. Either taking the chocolates away from her or leaving her with them is a final “Screw you!” to her and everything she stands for when it comes to shy men (or anthropomorphic pigs) trying to pour their hearts out to high-maintenance women (or high-maintenance, anthropomorphic sows in this case, since a sow is a female pig, but that word can be used like “bitch” or “cow” to be a derogatory term for a woman, whether deserved or not) who just aren’t feeling it.

Availability Uncut: Your choice: The Looney Tunes Golden Collection, volume 3 DVD set (on the third disc with optional commentary by Mark Kausler) or the Porky Pig 101 DVD (disc 2)

‘Til next time…