Have You Got Any Castles? (Black Woollcott)

Director(s): Frank Tashlin

Summary: The second of Frank Tashlin’s “Midnight in the Bookstore” shorts (first is “Speaking of the Weather,” which I covered before, and the third is “You’re An Education”). This one is introduced by Alex Woollcott, includes The Three Musketeers breaking The Prisoner of Zenda out of jail, and Rip Van Winkle shutting down the latest après-minuit literary party because he needs his sleep (why? He’s had 100 years’ worth).

Compared to “Speaking of the Weather,” this is a bit heavier on the racial/ethnic caricatures of years past, but “You’re An Education” wins at the end of the day. Despite that, this short (and the other two)  did make its rounds on American TV and did appear on home media, as mentioned below.

The Channel(s): Blue Ribbon Merrie Melodie reissue version, TBS, Cartoon Network, and unnamed syndication (local affiliate stations).

Part(s) Edited: Before I get in on the edits done to remove racial/ethnic stereotypes, I’d like to start with the edits done on the Blue Ribbon Merrie Melodie reissue, which also applies to the syndicated versions and the versions shown on TBS and Cartoon Network.

Alex Woollcott (who was caricatured before on Tashlin’s “The Woods Are Full of Cuckoos”) did not like his caricature in this short, so he requested it to be cut when the short was reissued to theaters (which, coincidentally, happened after he died). This decision affected only two scenes in this short: the beginning where Woollcott introduces the literary performance and the end when he closes out the short, and the cuckoo bird is muffled while Rip Van Winkle continues to sleep (that cut was an innocent bystander that got removed because the Alex Woollcott scenes got deleted). The reissued version was the version that aired on television (when it did air on television), including TBS and Cartoon Network.

In addition to the appearances of Alex Woollcott, TBS’ version also cut Bill “Bojangles” Robinson tap dancing up and down the cover of The 39 Steps, the “Swing for Sale” part that was recycled from the Censored Eleven cartoon “Clean Pastures,” and both scenes of Rip Van Winkle cutting Uncle Tom’s hair to use as earplugs during the performance of the title song (with Uncle Tom punching Rip Van Winkle in the face several times and cutting his beard the second time).

If you can believe it, Cartoon Network actually aired this cartoon during their weekday morning installment show, The Acme Hour (which is a collection of Warner Bros., MGM, and Fleischer shorts with the intro, outro, and commercial bumpers showing what it’s like to be on the business end of classic cartoon slapstick, like getting hit in the face with a plank, falling off a cliff, having a piano drop on your head, wearing rocket-powered roller skates, covering a house with invisible paint, flooding a living room after using an ACME brand glass cutter on an aquarium, etc) and aired a version where the only edits made were to the bookend scenes with Woollcott, as well as the final image where Rip Van Winkle is asleep on the cuckoo clock after tying the bird’s beak shut, making this the closest that a Censored Eleven cartoon has come to airing on television in the United States because the “Clean Pastures” part with Cab Calloway singing “Swing for Sale” wasn’t censored. The short eventually got phased out and replaced with other cartoons, so, you know, pyrrhic victory.

What Grinds My Gears About the Edit: It’s been a while, but we’re back with, “The edits are jarring, but since this is one of those thinly-plotted musical cartoons, it doesn’t affect anything else about it.” At least, when it comes to the “Clean Pastures”/“Swing for Sale” part that was edited on TBS. The reissue cuts will leave you wondering what was edited from the beginning and ending (though the ending cut is seamlessly done) and why if you’ve never seen this short before and know nothing of its history…then, when you find the reason, you’ll either still ask, “Why?” or just say, “Oh,” and carry on.

Video Comparison: You can tell that the Alex Woollcott scenes were supposed to be edited out because the newer version has film splice marks on it. The other cuts, well…let’s go to the video:

Availability Uncut: It’s on the Golden Age of Looney Tunes laser disc (volume 1, side 1: 1930s Musicals) and VHS (volume 1: 1930s Musicals), but it’s most likely the version that didn’t restore the Alex Woollcott scenes. Those scenes wouldn’t be restored until the Looney Tunes Golden Collection volume two DVD set. This also applies to volume two of the Looney Tunes Spotlight Collection (and all its repackaged versions, such as The Looney Tunes Collection All Stars, The Looney Tunes Spotlight Collection Double Feature [a repack of volumes two and three], and The Looney Tunes Spotlight Collection volumes 1-3 repack). It’s also a special feature on the DVD version of the movie Varsity Show, starring Dick Powell and Fred Waring, though I don’t know specifically if it’s the older version without Alex Woollcott or the newer version with him. The older version has become harder to find than the newer version, which is everywhere thanks to the short being in the public domain since 1967 and the relative easer in which one can upload the newer version on YouTube and let that proliferate (or “go viral,” in today’s terms).

Is/Was It Available on Streaming?: No, it isn’t. That also applies to “Speaking of the Weather” (which I covered prior to the news that Tubi uploaded the Warner Bros shorts on their service) and “You’re An Education” (which I’m covering in a future special post about cartoons with scenes that have missing scenes long before television censors got their hands on them. It wasn’t edited for anything on the one time it aired on Cartoon Network, but it was replaced with another cartoon on a rerun of the animation history show, ToonHeads, for the episode “Midnight in the Bookstore”). This shouldn't worry you, though, because it's a public domain cartoon and it can be watched on YouTube or on the Golden Collection DVD.

As an added bonus, here’s the actual, uncut version of “Have You Got Any Castles?”, complete with outdated racial stereotypes and scenes featuring Alex Woollcott:

And a censored version shown on a former WB affiliate known as WB18 (I have no idea what state had that as a channel. The closest I could find is either WBG18 in Wheeling, West Virginia or WVTV18 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin):

This version just cut the “Bill Robinson tap dances up and down The 39 Steps” and the “Swing for Sale” part (in very much the same way I did on the approximation video, only they left in the part where The Invisible Man and Topper perform a tap-dance number. I just assumed it would be cut for continuity reasons, like the part where they show Greta Garbo on the cover of So Big in yet another joke about how she had big feet for a woman), as well as the Alex Woollcott scenes. The Rip Van Winkle/Uncle Tom parts weren’t censored.

‘Til next time…